A few years ago I was in Ireland with an American colleague from the South. A German, Irish and American culture clash. For such situations, business etiquette says quite clearly:

Just don’t try humor. This backfires.

As a Cologne resident, I realized early on that it was taking a lot of energy to sweep this part of my personality under the carpet. So I left it. Also on this business trip. And the feedback from my colleague Lee on the return journey: “You manage in a unique way to get people to listen to you and that way you can also talk about some uncomfortable truth.” He called it “confrontative humor” – humor that sometimes addresses things directly. But the other person can still decide whether they want to hear the serious thing or leave it as a joke. Just want to go over it with a smile.

Now not everyone should try to wrap uncomfortable truths into a joke. Because that can definitely backfire.

But why not use a strength?

For me, humor is a so-called signature strength. Signature strengths are strengths that define a person and shape their identity. The signature strengths are based on the 24 character strengths of positive psychology. So I enjoy using my humor. And I feel bad when I can’t use that strength. And I am also successful when I can use this strength.

If you want to learn more about character and signature strengths. Then you can do one of the following tests.

https://www.gluecksforschung.de (German, DGPP and Uni Potsdam)

https://www.viacharacter.org/survey/account/Register (various languages, VIA Institute)

And if you want to talk about the result. Then just contact me.